Some things about becoming a mother I expected- waking up in the middle of the night, getting thrown up on, finding it hard to find time to shower – but other things I didn’t foresee. Here are five unexpected ways motherhood changed me.
My body doesn’t look as good as it did before baby, but I love it more
Gaining almost 60 pounds while I was pregnant left me with a lot of extra weight to lose after Tripp was born, and more than one stretch mark. But carrying a child through what can only be described as a challenging pregnancy, both mentally and physically, made me appreciate how strong my body is. I sometimes felt like a spectator as I watched my body create a human while I sat on the couch. I was in awe. And while I still have a few pounds to lose, I am so appreciative of what my body has done to really feel down on myself. After all, it cooked a baby!
I believe in myself more
It’s a fact that I don’t take myself seriously enough. In work settings I often feel like I’m getting judged purely on my age, looks, gender, or hair color before I’ve even had a chance to prove that I’m competent. I often count myself out because I assume everyone else in the room already has. As I’ve gotten older and spent more time practicing law I’ve gotten more confident, but I still struggle with self-doubt. Having a baby has actually made me feel more comfortable in my own skin and secure in my work. While being a young mother doesn’t exactly scream partner-track, going through what it takes to have a baby makes me realize I am capable of pretty much anything, and that if people want to underestimate me, it will be their loss.
I appreciate my own mother more
Being a working mom is tough, but I think being a stay-at-home mom is even harder. I am exhausted on days that I “work from home” with no nanny. But when I leave my house to go to work I get to shower, put on makeup, and drink my coffee while it’s still hot, in perfect solitude. My mom stayed home with 4 (FOUR!) kids. As a mom all you want is that unconditional love and snuggles from your baby. So I make an extra effort to be nice to my mom and give her those hugs.
I still want more kids
After a pregnancy that involved lots of vomiting, a debilitating pinched nerve, fear of Zika exile, 57 lb weight gain, stretch marks, having an emergency c-section, having a baby who wouldn’t latch, getting Tripp’s tongue lasered so he could latch (fail), being attached to a breast pump for three months, postpartum PUPPS, steroid cream and steroid shots for said PUPPS, with some postpartum depression and anxiety to top it all off, I STILL want to have another baby. I can’t imagine not having another baby. There is no discomfort I wouldn’t endure to have another Tripp.
I don’t miss my stuff as much I thought I would
Pretty glass and mirrored table with sharp edges – gone. Chic home office – gone. Lots of spending money – also gone, spent on formula and Restoration Hardware children’s furniture (whyyy, Berkley, why). While we had to get rid of a lot of “hazardous” furniture, I don’t miss all of the stuff. If anything, life feels fuller with Tripp, even without a coffee table.